


Brave New Serena

by Beezarre (Dibee)



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, Jason and Raf have about a line each, What could have happened after 'Brave New World', because Serena doesn't want to keep it confined to theatre, this is less of a headcanon and more of a 'what if'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 12:46:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10854294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dibee/pseuds/Beezarre
Summary: Set right after the end of 'Brave New World' after *that* conversation. What if Serena went to see Bernie later that night?





	Brave New Serena

**Author's Note:**

> I was watching the Berena scenes from this episode and I suddenly had this urge to write a 'little' bit about it. 3K later and here we are!

Serena was pacing. Bernie had left the office ten minutes before, and the second she had disappeared from view Serena had started walking along their shared space, stopping every now and then to lightly bang her forehead on the door frame.

She knew Jason would be waiting for her. He had refrained from commenting on her unusual behaviour, which she almost found suspicious. Did he know? Had someone seen them and she hadn’t heard the rumour yet? Or did he just put it down as being worry about a coworker? Of course she had been worried, but every time she had managed to breathe, to remember the operation had gone well, the aftermath, the kiss, kisses, were playing on a loop in her head.

She had dreaded coming to work, and yet couldn’t wait, but she hadn’t contacted Bernie. She had thought about it, a lot, but couldn’t figure out what to say. She, Serena Campbell, who addressed the board like it was second nature, was speechless when faced with the idea of a beautiful woman kissing her. Because Bernie was beautiful, and Serena hadn’t needed the kiss to realise that.

They had become friends, close friends, but this had been… unexpected. And yet she was pretty sure she had been the first to cast her eyes down. She wasn’t sure how long they had kissed. Time had stopped and sped up at the same time and it had left them a little dizzy, or maybe it was just the temporary lack of oxygen. After a while, slowly coming to their senses, they had gotten up, unscrubbed, going through the usual motions, leaving the moment in theatre as the daze of their colleague’s uncertain fate came back down on them.

And then she had messed it up. The elevator, the ward, the corridor, any conversation they’d had had been awkward, and she had been the one to blame. And then she’d gone and talked to Fletch about it! Fletch, of all people! She had never been so relieved than when he had said he couldn’t remember a thing. She hoped it wouldn’t come back to him, or she’d be done for!

Bernie had overall been the one keeping her head. Maybe because she had kissed a woman before, maybe because she had managed to get herself together, or maybe she had thought about it and sorted things through with herself. Or maybe she didn’t think it was that big a deal. She didn’t even notice when Serena completely lost track of the conversation over that scan, that was as unprofessional as it got, and Serena had fallen victim to the very thing she chided her F1s for: blinding crushes.

Once they’d cleared the air, and Serena had finally admitted that it had scared her beyond belief, things had gone smoothly. For a very short while. And then Bernie had gone back to being the sensible one again, pointing out both their undeniable sexual chemistry, and that it would be wise to stay friends and colleagues. Serena had wanted to say something, do something, and then it had come down to one very single matter: Bernie, in the middle of a messy divorce, something Serena didn’t think of as an obstacle, if anything she’d be there to help, and her, Serena, dyed-in-the-wool heterosexual.

At that point, Serena had been too shocked to reply, to form any kind of coherent sentence. Over the course of the past few hours, she had discovered that a. she really enjoyed kissing Bernie, who happened to be a woman b. the idea of a relationship with a woman, specifically Bernie, actually appealed to her c. she was able to come to term with it by talking to Fletch about it. She still couldn’t believe she had gone that far! What had she been thinking?

Now Bernie had done what she thought to be the right thing, and clearly needed to upgrade her gaydar to include accidentally closeted bisexuals. And there she was, pacing with the blinds open, which she knew would probably draw some attention. She expected someone to come knock on the door any second now, probably Raf or Morven, checking on her. God, what would she tell them? What could she tell them? She would inevitably blush and make a fool of herself, and her behaviour all day had been odd enough already. She grabbed her bag and coat and left, checking that the coast was clear before heading to her car.

Once there she slung her bag on the passenger seat and her forehead on the steering wheel. She heard someone knock on the window and looked up to see Raf who looked concerned. She opened the window rather than the door and peered out.

“You okay Serena?” He asked. She should have been asking that question, he looked exhausted.

“Yes, it’s been a long few days, hasn’t it? We all need to take care of ourselves.” Serena said, wincing when she realised what she had said, bringing her back to the moment earlier when she had wished for the quickest aneurysm rupture possible. Raf frowned.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Raf asked again, clearly concerned that there was more than exhaustion to blame for Serena’s behaviour.

“Just a few things to sort out, that’s all.” She smiled reassuringly. Raf didn’t look convinced but he let it go, stifling a yawn.

“Go home, get some rest!” She ordered gently. He nodded with a smile and walked away. Serena looked straight ahead, starting the car, getting out of her parking spot. She left the window open for a while, hoping the cold air would help clear her head. It didn’t.

She made it home right on time to have dinner with Jason. They ate in relative silence, which was not uncommon but it seemed a little bit weighted.

“Is you colleague going to be okay?” Jason asked. Serena looked like a deer in the headlight for a second before realising he was talking about Fletch and not Bernie. Bernie was going to be perfectly fine. Fletch… well hopefully he would too. She explained what had happened to him in a little more detail than she had before and Jason went to watch tv after they finished clearing up.

“Jason, I need to go out again, something I need to sort out.” She started. “I… I’m not sure but I might not sleep here.” She added, blushing, but luckily Jason didn’t turn to face her, just nodding his assent. Serena thought she was being ridiculous, but if things went wrong she would definitely consider taking over from whoever was on call to keep her mind busy.

She realised as she got into her car that she didn’t know where Bernie lived. Calling ahead was probably not going to get the right message across. She tried to remember what details she knew, and thought she’d pieced some things together. When she arrived in what she believed to be the right neighbourhood, she spotted Bernie’s car and gave herself a pat in the back, before realising that there were several blocks of flats and checking all the names would take ages. She sighed and decided to go counterclockwise from the building Bernie was parked closest to. She found it on the first try. She hesitated in front of the panel of names, her hand almost shaking as she pushed the right button, having no clue what she was going to say.

“Hello?”

“Bernie, it’s me, Serena, can I, can I see you, I mean if it’s okay with you, I-”

She heard the buzz of the door opening, made note of the floor and cursed the out of order lift before starting on the stairs. She was out of breath by the 3rd set and arrived on the 5th landing with her hands on her knees just as Bernie opened the door. Serena glared at her and Bernie laughed, blushing somewhat, although she really had nothing to reproach herself.

“Come in, take a seat.” Bernie said gently, her eyes never leaving her. Serena nodded her thanks and let herself fall down on the sofa. The flat looked as if she had just moved in although she had been here for a good while already. It wasn’t home yet, home was work, and Serena suspected it had always been that way for her.

“I guess you didn’t come all the way here to do some cardio?” Bernie asked, lightly teasing her. Serena stared at her, almost adoringly, Bernie coming to sit in front of her on the coffee table that was clearly sturdier than it looked. What was it with Bernie and her refusal to use ordinary seating implements?

They were close, their knees almost touching and Serena leaned forward slightly so she could peer directly in Bernie’s eyes, who shifted somewhat. She still hadn’t answered. She wasn’t sure she knew the answer. Of course she hadn’t come here to do some cardio. Although she had thought of some cardio-inducing activities but she judged it wiser not to think about those right away.

“I… I…” Serena started, going back to forgetting how to form proper sentences. “It’s about something you said earlier.” She said looking away, missing the frown on Bernie’s face.

“Which part?” Bernie asked.

“All of it.” Serena started, looking up at her again, noticing she was still frowning. “I mean not all of it. But some of it. Some of it wasn’t right. I mean you were right. Well, no you were wrong. But I was wrong too.” Serena ranted. She could see Bernie smile, starting to laugh. She took Serena’s hands in hers and it didn’t help with sentence formation.

“Serena, what is it?” Bernie asked gently, trying to look into Serena’s eyes while she was trying to look at about everything else except Bernie’s eyes or face or skin or body, or hands around hers.

“Itapparentlytookmehalfacenturyandyoushowinguptofigureitoutbuti’mnotstrictlyheterosexual.” Serena mumbled. Bernie frowned, shaking her head.

“Could you… say that in a way distinctly audible for human ears please?” she asked with an encouraging smile. Serena glared at her. She wasn’t helping!

“It apparently took me half a century and you showing up to figure it out but I’m not strictly heterosexual.” Serena repeated, whispering and still not entirely sure of herself. Clearly Bernie had understood this time because there was a look of shock on her face, and her grasp around Serena’s hands had loosened, although she still hadn’t pulled away.

‘And I don’t want to keep it confined to theatre.’ Serena thought, hoping it would be loud enough for Bernie to hear, but she was too busy staring at their hands.

“I… I don’t know what to say.” Bernie said softly, looking up, her eyes so soft Serena was pretty sure she was melting and would be nothing but a Shiraz-coloured stain on the sofa by the time Bernie was finished with her.

“Neither do I.” Serena said chuckling nervously. “That’s about as far as I got!” She winced. Bernie’s smile turned into a grin.

“Why are you really here, Serena?” She asked, her voice low, making Serena suddenly uncomfortable in a blush-worthy way.

“I want you.” Serena started, before opening her eyes wide in surprise. “I mean no, I mean yes, but…” She stopped, deciding that letting her brain speak directly was definitely not a good idea. “The spark between us, I don’t want us to ignore it, I don’t want you to ignore it because you don’t think I’m ready for it because I am. Well, no, I’m not ready for it but with you I am.” Bernie was looking at her intently, trying to process what she was trying to say.

“O-okay.” She replied simply. “Okay. Still no sapphic angst fest though, yes?” She asked with a crooked smile. Serena smiled back, relief washing through her, dragging some of her common sense along.

She inched forward a bit, one of Bernie’s legs between hers, let go of Bernie’s hands and put it on her thighs instead, enough to be level with her face and kiss her. Bernie caught her waist as their lips touched, Serena’s hands now around Bernie’s neck. Bernie broke the kiss quickly, making Serena recoil in fear of rejection, but Bernie just chuckled.

“We’re both too old for acrobatics.” She said, sitting next to Serena on the couch and resuming the kissing where it had begun. Serena had other kinds of acrobatics in mind, and made herself blush just by thinking about it. Sex was not something she was uncomfortable with, but Bernie was her best friend, and the fact that she was a woman made things a little awkward in her mind.

Things got a lot less awkward when she felt one of Bernie’s hands sneaking up her back under her shirt. She was tempted to do the same thing, but having stared at the perfectly fitting white shirt way too much through the day, she knew it would be tricky. They broke the kiss and Bernie’s hand was still under her blouse but on the small of her back. Serena looked into Bernie’s eyes. She had opted to put her hands on Bernie’s waist and felt the heat of her skin almost burning through the shirt.

Serena realised she was scared, because whatever happened next would either be new and probably overwhelming, or would leave her to go home and wish she had never driven here. She realised that, although she was more in control of the situation than Serena was, Bernie was probably scared too. Serena kissed her again, trying to convey all of it at once, hoping she would be better at this than at talking. She felt Bernie respond in kind, and Serena realised she might be on to something. Bernie was not really a word person, she kept lots of things to herself, but if all it took to get her to ‘speak’ was kissing, then Serena would gladly volunteer to dialogue with her!

Serena felt Bernie’s hand travel just a little lower, Bernie leaning slightly against her as they gently fell on the sofa. Serena kissed Bernie again, mostly so she wouldn’t see the look in her eyes. Bernie wasn’t moving, and Serena realised that she was waiting for a sign from Serena that she could. That woman was going to be the end of her! First she kisses her and turns her world upside down, and now there she was trying to be the reasonable one again when all Serena wanted was to throw a large amount of reason through the window and play the rest of it by ear.

Bernie was half laying on top of her, and was now looking at her like she would an undecipherable prescription slip. Not entirely encouraging. Serena decided to do the sensible thing, which she should have started doing the second she had crossed the threshold, which was to let go, relax, trust herself, trust Bernie, and make sure they weren’t still locked in a staring match come morning!

“We’re thinking too much.” Serena groaned. Bernie’s eyebrows shot up but she grinned, biting her lip when she felt Serena’s finger attempting to undo the buttons of her shirt. She had quite a way to go but she was well determined to get rid of it by sensible means. That and the look on Bernie’s face was too exquisite. She started regretting her decision when Bernie mirrored her action with her blouse, which had considerably less buttons, and, contrarily to Bernie, she wasn’t wearing a singlet underneath it!

Serena kept getting sidetracked, she was watching Bernie and breathless at the intensity of her eyes, and the brush of her fingers on her skin.

“I hate your shirt.” Serena hissed as she struggled with a stubborn button. Bernie laugh a low laugh that made Serena moan, Bernie looking at her in surprise. Bernie moved slightly, deftly removing all the offending buttons on her shirt and putting it aside, before resuming her previous activity. Serena’s fingers played with the edge of the singlet before rolling it up little by little. She could feel Bernie shivering when she passed a sensitive spot in her back. She stopped just shy of her bra, and felt Bernie freeing the last button of her blouse. Their eyes met. Bernie moved first to help Serena get rid of the blouse and Serena all but yanked the singlet off Bernie, making her laugh again.

“Eager, are you?” She whispered in Serena’s ear, making her blush.Bernie reached behind her back to her bra clasp, one arm still propping herself up so she wouldn’t fall on top of Serena, who took pity on her and helped, their fingers meeting and working together to free Bernie who quickly discarded it. Bernie had had a feeling going first would help Serena relax, but looking in Serena’s eyes she saw more desire than she believed could be found there and felt a little self conscious before remembering she could retaliate. Serena’s bra turned out to be considerably easier to remove and was out of the way soon after. Bernie looked at Serena, her hands on either side of her head.

She moved so they were facing one another, smiled when Serena was bold enough to initiate contact, moaned when she found just the right spot, Serena grinning. Bernie made it her mission to wipe the grin from her face and turn it into something a little less smug. After tentative kissing and exploring, Serena could feel Bernie’s fingers gently travelling downward. It was less of a travel and more of a snail pace, testing the waters. Whatever Bernie had in mind, Serena decided to both encourage her and forget about everything that wasn’t her by kissing her as thoroughly as possible. The mission was a complete failure as Bernie’s hand travelled up her back instead.

“Bernie, stop teasing, I trust you but you’re turning me mad.” Serena whispered into a kiss. She felt Bernie smile and opened her eyes to see a glint of mischief in Bernie’s.

“If you think this is teasing…” She said, making Serena bite her lip.

“Don’t you dare, Ms Wolfe. The night is young, but we aren’t!” Serena groaned, making Bernie laugh. Serena was enjoying hearing her laugh, making her laugh, and she seemed to be getting very good at it!

They decided to move to the bed while they still could.They knew they would have to talk in the morning, and this time Serena promised herself she would be the sensible one, but her resolve dissolved with every kiss. This wasn’t how either of them had pictured it, and god had they pictured it, but they made sure the undeniable sexual chemistry Bernie had mentioned earlier was put to good use.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
